Snape's Musical Madness
by Queen of the Scoubies
Summary: ‘It was midnight and the dark halls of Hogwarts, school of witchcraft and wizardry was silent until a slimy haired man ‘patrolling the halls’ started to sing…’


Snape's musical madness

'It was midnight and the dark halls of Hogwarts, school of witchcraft and wizardry was silent until a slimy haired man 'patrolling the halls' started to sing…'

Skipping down the dark halls of Hogwarts, a very pale and slimy haired man was sung, "She'll be coming round the mountain when she comes! Toot! Toot! She'll be coming round the mountain when she comes! Toot! Toot! She'll be coming round the mountain, she'll be coming round the mountain, she'll be coming round the mountain when she comes!" his dark robes swished around his feet as he skipped down the dark hall until he met an intersection.

Linking arms, a tall, thin woman wearing glasses and bottle green robes skipped as she sung the next verse, "She'll be riding six white horses when she comes! Whoo back! She'll be riding six white horses when she comes! Whoo back! She'll be riding six white horses, she'll be riding six white horses, she'll be riding six white horses when she comes!" at the end of the verse a taller older man wearing deep blue robes with shiny starts and moons all over them flung out his arms.

"Minerva! Severus! What is the meaning of this? I know you wanted to promote inner-house cooperation, but I believe that skipping through the hallways singing muggle-rhymes is taking things just a little too far!"

"Uh, albus…" Minerva started, unlinking her arm and looking at her pointy shoes

"Well, you see, albus, I've had this urge since I heard one of those snotty-nosed first years singing that song, to well sing it. And tonight I just couldn't help it. It was stuck in my head!"

"…and I heard him singing it and I should have told you this before, I have an over-compulsive disorder, which means that when someone sings near me, I just have to sing with them. I couldn't help it!"

"Its okay, I'll forgive you all as long as you let me join in until we get to the kitchens. I'm a bit hungry. There's an earthquake in my stomach! I know a few muggle versions of it!"

So the three professors linked arms and sung, "She'll be coming round the mountain when she comes! Toot! Toot! She'll be coming round the mountain when she comes! Toot! Toot! She'll be coming round the mountain, she'll be coming round the mountain, she'll be coming round the mountain when she comes!" their robes swished and they swashed around their legs as they skipped, their faces smiling and their wizards hats falling off their heads.

And Albus started, "She'll be pissing like a fountain when she comes! Oh gross! She'll be pissing like a fountain when she comes! Oh gross! She'll be pissing like a fountain, she'll be pissing like a fountain, she'll be pissing like a fountain when she comes!" and then a burst of giggling from either side of him started. The usually strict Minerva and severus, had started to giggle like a bunch of school children.

After looking at the two grown professors disapprovingly, he continued "that's the only muggle verse that I have dared to hear…but maybe we could make one up?" only to scream in fright when a woman wearing bug-like glasses leaped from behind a statue.

"Dears, my inner eye told me that you three would be singing that song as you skipped down the halls!" Sybill exclaimed as she jumped out in front of them "Can I join in? I love this song!"

"Sybill, was it your inner eye, or your inner ear?" Minerva giggling as Sybill gave her a dirty look.

"It was my inner eye…"

"Are you sure? We were pretty loud" Severus continued

"Never mind. I want to join in. I know another verse that you guys probably don't!"

"Fine, just sing us the verse" Dumbledore sighed, upset that the arguing had ended.

Sybill glared at them all, before linking her scrawny, bangle-covered arm with his and started to sing, "She'll be coming round the mountain when she comes! Toot! Toot! She'll be coming round the mountain when she comes! Toot! Toot! She'll be coming round the mountain, she'll be coming round the mountain, she'll be coming round the mountain when she comes!" and again everyone's robes flew behind their legs as they skipped enthusiastically down the halls.

"She'll be fucking six white horses when she comes! Yee hah! -" and suddenly albus, Minerva and Snape jolted to a stop each of them yelling, "What the hell was that?"

"Sybill, did my inner ear, hear what your inner eye just did?" Minerva asked

"My verse?"

"That was not a verse – that was a perverse excuse to come and skip down the halls with us!" Albus argued

"Yeah, go away Sybill! We don't want you here anymore!" Severus continued, ripping his arm away from hers.

"Fine! Your loss!" she screeched in their faces and ran down the hall.

Five minutes later and twenty versus later, Albus, Minerva and severus had arrived at the bowl of fruit acting as the entrance to the kitchen.

"Hey, we're at the kitchens now!" Albus exclaimed, happy because he would get some food, but also sad to leave his colleagues, when they were on such good terms.

"Its all good albus, we'll see each other tomorrow!" Minerva said

"You know, we should do this again. It was fun! How about tomorrow night we sing Humpty Dumpty? I love that song!" Severus replied

"Sure thing, same place? Same time?"

"Certainly! See you then!" Dumbledore replied and walked into the aromatic smells of the kitchen humming.

"Well, see you tomorrow Minerva" Snape said as he looked at his shoes

"Sleep well, Severus!" Minerva replied and they both walked their separate ways.

**So…what did you guys think? Tell! Tell! I know it's a bit strange, but I have strange ideas, cuz I'm strange! So let's remember the magic word…no! not please, but REVIEW! I am seriously obsessed with the things…REVIEW! and yeah, I'll think of something weirder or stranger. I might even change this into a two-shot! Hmmmmm… so REVIEW people! (Oh and if you don't review, I'll find you and kick your asses! Especially you, Forsaken Star and Glamrockprincess! No reviews and well…we'll settle this later…)**

**Mwah**

**Queen of the Scoubies**


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